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I have been friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome numerous hardships, and I respect her for that. But, she's often caught off guard by people. Her partner left her, which came as an unexpected event. A lot of her friends drifted away at that point, since they had been drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her. She made greater energy toward our bond, and must have grasped more clearly what friendship was.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many in her circle have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, she departed without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we've both left the workforce leading to more time together, however, I feel my position in our friendship is to listen. I introduce topics of conversation only for her to redirect conversation onto her own topics. Politically, she has unyielding views. I attempt to recommend factchecking and different perspectives.

She is arranging a vacation to a country I know well repeatedly and resided in previously. I attempted to offer insights, but this was not welcomed. She purely only wanted my agreement with her plans. I've just returned from four weeks in that place she is eager to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

You could cut and run, but it is seldom the easy answer that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for a solution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Therapists recommend using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially is to state how things go when you talk. Aim for this to be based on facts and basically exactly what occurs. The second involves sharing how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument here. What you feel belong to you, naturally. Finally is to question how the two of you can shift the pattern of your friendship."

Remember she too holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to acknowledge it. An approach that works is to say to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will not say anything for half an hour."

This can be successful to encourage understanding.

Key Takeaways

This person could ignore everything, since certain individuals have a “survival narrative”: they rely on a narrative of their life they cannot abandon since their identity depends upon it and it represents they trust. It's tough because there's no clear path with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react this way and then think on your words. And even if you never reach a fix, you'll have closure knowing you were honest with her.